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Sunday, May 29, 2005
To mingyan :

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
-Jerimiah 29:11

it is hard to trust Him now when you are really upset and disappointed. But nothing is impossible for God. He only wants the best for us and that beautiful plan for you will unfold soon. i will always be a call away if you want to talk. take care. (:

this week has been really weird. i hardly even stepped into the office at all. I praticallly took 4 days off due to my bad flu and cough. But i am still thankful for the ample amount of rest and taking the time to catch up with old friends. (:

watched madagascar today with the sec ones. omg. the show is ultra lame and it was kind of draggy. But there were really funny and good parts too. ooooh.And i want to watch monster in law, a lot like love, charlie and the chocolate factory, fantasic four and lots more. HAHA. :D

/ i hate the way you talk to me
and the way you cut your hair.
i hate your big dumb combat boots
and the way you read my mind.
i hate you so much that
it makes me sick that
it even makes me rhyme.
i hate the way you're always right.
i hate it when you lie.
i hate it when you make me laugh
and even worse when you make me cry.
i hate it when you are not around and
the fact that you didnt call.
But mostly, i hate the way
i dont hate you, not even close,
not even a little bit and not even at all.

- from the movie, 10 things i hate about you

bittersweet. :)

how apt.
Thursday, May 26, 2005
It has been 3 horrible days. I am terribly sick. But somehow i managed to drag myself to work today.i am starting to regret because i cant stop coughing and sneezing. I am been a major distraction in here. But people here are really nice about it. They have been giving me tissue paper and flu remedy drinks. :)

And i am taking half day today. I just lost my voice and i sound like a dead frog. I can still remember that Luke used to call me "SEXY VOICE" when i lost my voice back when i was in secondary school. HAHA. (:

I am meetin mingyan later. I have to because we already promised to meet today. At least i can still meet up with her awhile and go home earlier. :D

Oh yah, Carrie won the american idol competition.I have been rooting for her from the start and i am really happy. YEAHYEAHYEAH. :))))))

My sentences sound so short and detached. This is a rather weird post. Bleh. :p

YOUR strength is made perfect when i am weak.


i live to know YOU more
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
"I've made the most importand discovery of my life. It is only in the mysterious equation of love that any logical reasons can be found. I'm only here tonight because of you. You're the only reason i am...you're all the reasons i am."
-john nash

beautiful. :D
Saturday, May 21, 2005
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CLARAAAAA! (:

happy birthday, my friend
here is to all the years we shared
together and all the fun we had
you are such a blessing
and such a joy in my life
may the good Lord bless you
and may all your dreams come true

-the birthday song by corrinne may


welcome to the oldies club, dudette. love ya. :D
Friday, May 20, 2005
Jeanette spent a bomb today.


*faints.


From now onwards, jeanette is only going to do window shopping. :/
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
it was a rather depressing entry yesterday. Listening to too much of Corrinne May's songs is making me dizzy. HAHA. It is not that she is a very depressing singer but her songs are just so thought provoking. (:

Dont mind me. I was never really quite normal anyway. :D

My salary for the month of april came in today. I am sooo freaking happy now. The jeanette's shopping spree project has reopened again. i cant wait to meet up with abi tml. Yes, i am also looking forward to watch a lot like love with lynnie and pris this coming saturday. YEAH. :]

I am going to sidetrack now.
Ge dou rocks. :D
#$%%*&@$&% Duan Yuan Hao!!!!!
i really feel like going to taiwan to hoot him.
He is probably the most irritating villan ever!!
Please let it be a HAPPY ENDING. :D

/friends come and go.
i am learning to treasure over again.
What matters is the heart and i want to shout it out that i am staying by your side forevermore. :D

i feel like a little girl trying to conquer the whole wide world...


someday she'll trust Him
and learn how to see Him
someday she will come running
and fall into HIS arms
the tears will fall down and
she'll say " i want to fall in love with YOU"
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
i took one day leave today. it was great waking up late and doing things that made me happy. it was vcds day! i just popped one vcd at the time and laid on the bed and started watching. i like doing little things that make me happy. (: it was great being ME once in a long long time.

/ let it go. let it be.
i dont want to be an introvert anymore.
i dont want to be scared. let me learn to open up more.
let me put my pride down and just be free.

YOU keep me flying
YOU keep me smiling
YOU keep me safe in a crazy world
YOU understand me
embrace my fragility
YOU keep me safe in a crazy world
and in YOUR arms, i find the strength
to believe in ME again

-corrinne may's safe in a crazy world


embrace the faith like never before. God works in ways that i cant never comprehand. (:

I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you. - Matt 17:20


help me to see
that everything falls into place
break this change
Monday, May 16, 2005
a new template. (:

I'll be out the floor and on the run
To the meadow of my place
Beneath branches of icy lace
Arms held out eyes shut closed
I'll lean back and just let go

And I will fall to fly
A snow white angel I'll spread my wings to the sky
How I'll glide


i watched house of wax over the weekend. Scary? NO! Gory and Gruesome? YES! the only thing that was good about the show was chad micheal murray!! :D No wonder chun loves him. HAHA. Due to my current craze over him , i borrowed cinderella story and watched it twice. (:

Hung out with lynnie and pris yesterday. the stupid toilet woman incident, the seafood platter that we forced dumbie to treat us, the feng kuang shop and so much more - i really enjoyed the fellowship we had. :D


/ all the things that i was so not willing to let go, pls fly away.
a new chapter. a new beginning.
With YOU comes a better me.
you will come in HIS own timing.

let me have the time of my life right now. (:


the grace that brought me here
Saturday, May 14, 2005
A PL senior of mine commited suicide and passed away a week ago. She was one year older than me. I didnt know her personally but i've seen her around during my secondary school days. Her death is probably affecting me more because she was around our age. i started to ponder about life and i wonder how did she even find that amount of courage to jump? I simply cannot believe that there was no other way out than this. :/

I cant judge because i dont really know the full extent of the story. But i feel sad for her parents and her friends that were close to her. They are probably hurting more than evermore. A part of them has been lost in the process of losing their daughter and their beloved friend. How can you ever take away that kind of guilt and pain?

I was making my way home on the 136 bus and i saw a little girl sitting in front of me. Her parents were teaching her how to press the doorbell and she was so delighted that she kept pressing the doorbell. The smile on her face was simply enchanting and it melted my heart. That was life at its best. Life was beautiful.

Her death has taught me to live. i want to live more than ever before. i want to treasure my life and i want to live a life that is filled with purpose. I have dreams and aspirations and i want to fufill them. Life sucks at time but if you can find a reason to be sad then you can definitely find a reason to be happy.

In the arms of the angel
Far away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here


My deepest condolences to her parents and friends.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
[edit 01] : I am going to accept NUS FASS offer. I prayed about it and i know this is where i want to go. My decision is made up so i am just going to leave my future in HIS hands. Come August, jeanette is going to be a good nerdy girl and start studying. :/

Shoutout to MEI : i am going to miss you like crazy. i guess our plans to stay together in a hostel is never going to happen. I am sad that i wont get to see u so often anymore. *hugs. But i know ntu is a better choice for you and you better bring back a first class honours at the end of your 4 years education there. :D You know i am just not cut out for Lit anyway.HAHA. We must still meet up often, okay? i love you lots. :)
It is in between neverland and the real world.
It is where life is surreal.
It is where dreams and reality are never too far apart.
You are here but yet your mind allows you to drift away.
Sometimes reality sets in and sometimes you get away from it.
You feel like you are stuck in a capsule while time passes away.
Welcome to driftland.
Welcome to my world.

Now, doesnt that sounds like 89757? :) Haha. My husband and i are really alike after all. We are all escapists in search of a better haven.

And in spite of it all, i thank YOU for all the trials and tribulations that have come my way. They made me stronger as a person. I realised that i can never depend on my own strengh but only on YOURS alone. The key is just to hang in there. these 3 words mean so much to me because i know YOU are real and will always be here for me. :D

erm, i am not depressed by the way. I am actually really happy with my life now. But i just got into the thought-processing mode. :)

i am one step closer to reality. i am coming back to the heart of worship.


and i stand here before you
in wide open wonder
amazed by the glory of YOU

Wednesday, May 11, 2005
i think i am in love.
Or maybe i have just developed this huge crush on this particular guy in the office.
He is soooooo freaking cute. :)))))
He is really cute in a dumb dumb way.
But i think he is 10 year older than me. :/

And Huilin had to break my heart by telling me that he is getting married next month.
Bleh. Who cares? At least i have a new eyecandy to look out for in this really boring environment.
Did i tell you that the executives here are super unfriendly?
They cant even be bothered to talk to you yet alone smile at you.
They treat temp staffs like crap so i will give them the same cold treatment back.
BLEH. :p

HAHA. luckily, i have a new eyecandy. :D

/ tears just keep falling down.
where has the love gone too?
Lord, blind this family with one love.
Make me stronger than ever. :)
I will let YOU override now.

/ the road ahead.
YOU gave me a reason to trust and i thank YOU for directions to Uni.
Now, it is time to work YOUR way through my friends around me.
Help them find their own directions. :)
Let YOUR will be done and i know everything will work out well in YOUR own timing.
Let us learn to trust in YOUR unfailing love ; For 'faith is being sure of what we hope for and what we do not see.' (Heb 11 :1)
Amen.

So impose YOUR will upon me,
i got no way else to go.
i have been waiting for this moment ;
for you to override.

Help me discern
YOUR perfect will
Yes, i do yearn
Monday, May 09, 2005
1 John 4:5-6
Beloved, let us love one another ; for love is of God ; and everyone that loveth is born of God and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God ; for God is love.

We need more love in Powerhouse.

it should be more of YOU and less of ourselves.

ytd's prayer session was really good.
For all that has happened, i thank God for them.
It is because they made us stronger and closer to YOU.
i trust because i know only YOU can move mountains.

we need to pray more...


the joy that comes from YOU only
Saturday, May 07, 2005
WHYs ;

Why me? Why not you?
Why 19? Why not 14?
Why this system? Why no changes?
Why stay? Why not leave?

Why doubt? What's there to doubt?

Then i realised something. The answer is simple. It is for HIM and not for me. :)

Amen.


Not because of who i am
but because of what YOU've done
Not because of what i've done
but because who YOU are
Friday, May 06, 2005
Corrinne may's latest album is OUT already. Bro bought it already and it is currently under my top playlist. HAHA. Yeah, now i have Parousia, Corrinne May and no89757 cds to listen everyday. :)

Her 2nd album is entitled Safe in a crazy world.

How apt. :/

God is really good and merciful. How could i ask for more?Praise God for directions. All that was needed was patience. So for those out there, hold on to that faith and never let go okay?

So it is going to be a new chapter this coming August. Gosh, it is back to square one again and i am pretty excited to start studying. Yes, i do miss studying!! :) A new environment, a whole lot of new friends and so much more....i am laying everything down to YOU.

i wish i could be stronger so that in times of doubt, i can always fall back on YOU. Make me and mold me to be more like YOU each day.


what we had was so beautiful
fly me to the moon and back
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
i am freezing in my office now and my hands cant stop trembling. HAHA. it is going to be a hard time trying to write this post. It is yet another random post because jeanette leads a boring life. :/

oh yah, my current craving right now is yong tau foo. i have been eating it everyday since last week. i am and will continue eating it till i grow sick in the stomach. Bleh. :)

you cant help thinking when your life has just settled back to its normal state that something bad is bound to happen soon. Life isnt always UPs only.Thus the moral of it all : JUST DONT THINK!


dont read the following paragraph if you are not too fond of getting giddy.

i'vegonethroughitmyself.iwasangrywiththe
church.iwasangrywiththesystemandiwent
aroundthinkingthaticouldfindaperfect
church.itcausedmeawholelotoftroubles,
butalliswellandgoodagainbecausedennis
mademerealisedthatnochurchiseverperfect.
onlyGodcanmakeitperfect.whatmattersisthe
heart.justhanginthereeventhoughthischurch
doesnotprovidewhatyouwant.itisaresponsibilty
toGodandyourself.(:

so i hope that you will find your direction soon. Take heart and Wait on the Lord. :)


maybe it is time to say goodbye to neverland.....



look up and watch the stars fall onto us
Monday, May 02, 2005
i had a heartfelt talk with the old cg members at yesterday's bbq.i do miss all the times that we shared during our childhood days. Time just passed so fast and we just sat and talked till midnight.i am glad things are better and we are starting to open up again. :) this has made me treasure you all even more after this. No words can express how i feel but i am really happy and thankful. :DDDDDD

surprise bdae surprise for jael.catching up session with ginny,nessa and xuan. Sunday's bdae celebration for Jael at V8 cafe. Cg's bbq at Sue's house. - this sums up the week and i am too lazy to elaborate. Oops.

things will work out for a reason. No need to worry, just hang in there.

I lay everything down to YOU